Beyond “How Was School?”: Questions That Spark Real Conversations With Your Child
As parents, we often look forward to that moment when our child comes home from school — eager to hear all about their day. But when we ask, “How was school?” we usually get the same one-word answer: “Fine.”
It’s not that kids don’t want to share — they just need the right kind of questions to help them open up. The truth is, open-ended questions encourage children to reflect, express their feelings, and tell stories about their experiences in ways that “How was school?” simply can’t.
By asking more thoughtful, specific questions, you can spark meaningful conversations that strengthen your parent-child bond and help your child feel seen, heard, and understood.
Here are five parenting questions that can turn after-school small talk into real connection:
1. “What was the funniest thing that happened today?”
This question helps kids focus on positive moments, boosts their mood, and gives you insight into who they spend time with and what makes them laugh.
Parenting tip: Even if the story feels small, lean into it! Laugh together — it builds connection and shows your child that you value their experiences.
2. “What’s one thing you learned that surprised you?”
This question encourages storytelling instead of one-word answers and helps kids share those “wow” moments that spark curiosity.
Parenting tip: Listen with interest — and resist the urge to jump in. Let your child’s excitement guide the conversation.
3. “Who did you spend time with today?”
Your child’s answer can reveal how they’re feeling socially — whether they’re feeling included, lonely, or excited about new friendships.
Parenting tip: Listen without judgment. If your child shares that they were alone, acknowledge their feelings rather than rushing to fix them. Try saying, “That sounds like it felt hard.” If they light up about a friend, ask follow-up questions like, “What do you like about spending time with them?”
4. “What was the hardest part of your day?”
This question opens the door for emotional validation and gentle problem-solving. Kids don’t always need solutions — sometimes they just need to feel heard.
Parenting tip: Avoid going straight into fix-it mode. Reflect back what you hear: “That sounds really frustrating,” or “I can see why that felt tough.” Validation helps kids build emotional awareness and resilience.
5. “What’s something you’re proud of yourself for today?”
This question helps kids focus on effort and growth, rather than perfection or outcomes. It teaches them to celebrate small wins and build self-confidence.
Parenting tip: Celebrate with them — no matter how small the victory. Say things like, “I’m proud of you for noticing that,” or “That took a lot of courage.” Mirroring their pride strengthens their inner voice of confidence and self-esteem.
When we move beyond “How was school?” and ask open-ended questions, we give children a chance to share their world in a deeper, more authentic way. These kinds of parent-child conversations strengthen connection, build emotional intelligence, and help your child feel truly understood.
Remember, you don’t need to ask every question every day — choose one or two and really listen. Over time, these small moments can make a big difference in how your child communicates and feels supported.
If you or your child need extra support navigating emotions or improving communication, our team at Kaplan Psychotherapy is here to help. Reach out to us at hello@kaplanpsychotherapylcsw.com to learn more about how therapy can support your family’s emotional well-being.